


If Only I Had the Words

by Shyntax



Category: Free!
Genre: Childhood, M/M, little kid confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:25:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyntax/pseuds/Shyntax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I like ― no. I love you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only I Had the Words

**Author's Note:**

> this has like no plot i just wanted awkward 12-year-old confessions
> 
> the fantasy haru has about rin taking him to a photo booth is a reference to one of my favorite harurin works on here (http://archiveofourown.org/works/924605/chapters/1796933)

They're twelve when Rin first confesses. The words bubble out of his mouth, a stuttering mess of "I kinda really like you, Haru" and "I think I want to kiss you, Haru." Rin grumbles to himself, and Haruka can only barely make out the words 'stupid,' 'idiot,' and 'dumb idea.' The redhead shifts nervously as Haruka searches his mind for the proper words.  
  
What is he supposed to say? Should he treat it like a silly schoolgirl crush? Would this grow? He couldn't say "I love you" back. He wanted to. But he knew he shouldn't. What if it was just a short thing? Wouldn't he be hurt by that if Rin suddenly lost interest in him? He couldn't tell him he loved him. But like hell he could tell him he didn't.  
  
Rin turns away from Haruka, waving off the confession as if it were a bug. "Forget it. This never should have happened." It's those words that snap Haruka back. He reaches out to stop Rin from leaving, but he's already walking away. "Rin-"  
  
"Catch you later, Nanase."  
  
It's only a matter of hours until Haruka realizes it's probably more than something short and sweet. He's lying in bed when the fantasies begin. The scenes drift in a fluid sequence, each somehow managing to transition perfectly from one to another. Haruka imagines Rin leaning over the lane divider after a race to kiss him. He imagines Rin lying on his lap, smiling up at him. Rin looking over Haruka's body in the changing rooms. Rin dragging Haruka to a photo booth. Rin calling him in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep. Rin, Rin, and more Rin.  
  
Haruka falls asleep that night picturing Rin lying on his chest and sleeping with him.  
  
Rin doesn't speak to Haruka for almost a week. He doesn't even make eye contact. Haru tries to talk to him in between class times, but Rin arrives a moment before the bell rings and leaves just as quickly. School goes by rather slowly for Haruka that week. Come Sunday, when the Iwatobi SC meets, Haruka is fed up with being ignored. He speaks up in the changing room, when everyone else has left. "Rin."  
  
Rin glances at him. "What is it?"  
  
"Can we talk?" Haruka's voice is shaky. "After practice?"  
  
Rin shakes his head. "I don't think I can, my mom is expecting me home."  
  
"It won't take long."  
  
"I need to be home right away."  
  
"Rin-"  
  
"I should really go." Rin shuts his locker and tries to go to the pool when Haruka grabs him by the shoulder.  
  
"...Rin. Please."  
  
He says nothing, but he doesn't try to move away.  
  
"About last week...I don't really know how I should put it, but when you said...when you said that to me," Haruka's heart is pounding and his grip tightens. "I was thinking about it, and I think-" He gulps here. "I feel the same way. I like―no. I love you. I love you, Rin. Please talk to me again."  
  
Several seconds pass where no words are exchanged. Haruka is in agony, anxiously waiting for Rin to say something ― _anything_ ― to break the silence. He's not prepared when it comes.  
  
"Let me go, Nanase." Rin says flatly. Haruka just about dies inside. He drops his hand from Rin's shoulder. So that's it. It really was just some silly little crush.  
  
He waits for Rin to walk away. A moment ago he wanted Rin to stay behind, but now all he wants is for the other boy to leave him alone. Forever, maybe. He just wants him to go away. Let him cry or skip the SC or whatever he would do if Rin would just hurry up and get out of the damn room. He wants him out of there.  
  
But Rin's not going anywhere.  
  
Rin pulls Haruka into a tight embrace. Haruka can't see his face, but he thinks Rin is crying. "I'm so glad..." Rin whispers. "I love you, Haru. I love you, I really love you!"  
  
It takes a moment for Haruka to come out of his shock. He moves his arms upwards and gingerly places them on Rin's back. He slowly adds more pressure until he's holding Rin against his body almost as strongly as Rin is holding his. This makes Rin squeeze Haruka even tighter. Haruka smiles.  
  
"I love you too, Rin."


End file.
